Arthurian Cycle vs Glow Worm Goobers

15th October 2021

Weather Perfect throughout

Glow Worm Goobers field 2 Bribes and 1 Bloodweiser Babe; they also manage to get to the ref! 4,000 medieaval peasants and 4,000 gibbering goblins turn up to watch the match.

First Half


  		1.
    Kickoff
    The Goobers kick off. Gaheris catches the ball after backpedalling frantically after it, dashes up and passes to King Arthur. Arthur, flanked by Bors, heads off up the field. So far so good for the Cycle, and that - it transpires - was as good as it was going to get! Sir Turquine Goldenboots, new signing for the Cycle, hacks down Wreggle and looks pleased with himself as the goblin is hauled off the field to swig Bloodweiser and come round. Gushgutz gets his chainsaw into Arthur and puts him in the dugout for the rest of the match; the ball bounces away.
  2. Bors, left on his own, grabs at the ball as it bounces past and completely fails to pick it up, falling flat on his face instead. Funguy bounds over on his Squig and picks it up instead. Tragga the 'Ooligan tries to add to Bors' distress but his sly kick bounces off the Bodyguard's armour. The ref is swigging tea at the crucial instant; well, what are the chances of that?
  3. Turquine, with an eye on the Casualty league table, smacks a goblin and earns Nuffle's Eyes, going flat on his back. The two Goober trolls are so busy laughing at this that they completely miss this turn
  4. The game devolves into a messy midfield brawl of shoving and clouting. The crowd seem to enjoy it.
  5. Mouldy the troll wakes up suddenly and batters Morderd the Ogre into the grass. The ogre's duff shoulder makes lound and potentially expensive noises and he doesn't wake up; he's forklifted off the field. End of his game, and his next.
  6. With Funguy within reach of the 'zone, Lancelot makes a desperate run, twisting a weaving between goblins to knock him off his pogo stick and release the ball. It bounces to land where no one can reach it.
  7. Palamades makes a 3-dodge run to knock Funguy down again, this time knocking him out. The ball soars into the air and is caught by the Chainsaw Gushgutz! Lady Elaine, a bit lost without Guinevere to partner with, is surfed into the crowd and comes to in the dugout.
  8. Depite the Cycle's best efforts, the Chainsaw Maniac retains the ball, and dives for the line. As he does so, Aggie the goblin jumps Sir Turquine and - in an attempt to steal his trademark Golden Boots - lifts his feet up bringing his head crashing to the ground. His helmet caves in and life departs, truly a short career. Gushgutz runs the ball home for a T8 Touchdown!

Second Half

Pitch Invasion! Palamades is stunned by a goblin-thrown brick. The Goobers bring on Splatzy the Fanatic, while Bedivere, rather white-faced, comes on to replace Turquine

  1. Splatzy starts as he means to go on and stuns Elaine. Pellinore, now the only Cycle Blitzer, knocks out Targ.
  2. With punches flying in all directions to little effect, the Goobers grind the ball slowly up the pitch
  3. The Cycle gang up but fail to put Gushgutz down
  4. [A goblin I think] picks on what he feels is an easy target, but the Thrower Gaheris [has Block] is a tougher nut than expected! The goblin goes over instead.
  5. Thing the Troll blocks Sir Neville and both are knocked over. The ball bounces away to Bedivere who catches it, not to his entire delight
  6. Bedivere is steamrollered down and the ball bounces to Gaheris who fails to catch it and is then knocked down on top of it. It bounces to his brother Gareth who also can't hold onto it, then bounces back to where it was at the start of this turn... Tragga the 'Ooligan throws a foul on Bedivere, stunning him. Pellinore tries to clobber Liggle but Nuffle blinks his Eyes at him and he goes down instead.
  7. Aggie the goblin manages to pick the ball up in the middle of a massive maul, resulting in a variety of chain-pushes
  8. Aggie hands off to Funguy, who executes an insane mixture of dodges, runs, leaps and double sprints to move 10 squares down the field and score the dying moments Touchdown!